46 days have passed by and everyone around has moved on and started with their mundane yet peaceful life. Here, I am stuck, barely surviving, and just breathing.
I landed back in Kolkata, which was my hometown—a city very dear to my heart but this time the feelings were different. There was this hollow feeling that this is the city where I spent all those lovely and blissful years of growing up with my Maa and this is the same city where I lost my Iron Lady. The journey from Kolkata airport to the place that was once upon a time my home wasn’t pleasant. Each spot, each lane, had a memory, a memory with tears rolling down the cheeks. As I reached and climbed the stairs, the feeling of losing my everything grew deeper and deeper; it was like I was reliving the darkest day of my life.
No, no.. I am not prepared for this. With my father beside me, I tried to hold tight and control my emotions. I opened the door to be greeted by the darkness, and the eerie feeling crippled me tight. I was taken back to those days and years when I used to be greeted by my dad at the building entrance, with the tightest hug and ‘Ja, bhag ja upar- Maa is eagerly waiting for you Beta’. I would climb two stairs at a time and rush into the home only to be greeted by the ever mesmerizing lady-My Maa and her enchanting smile- Aagye beta, the journey was good? And the long hug which gave me reassurance that I have reached my happy and safe space.
Sometimes reality hits hard, right? Harder than we ever expected? I gave up and once again tears rolled down my cheeks, Hugging my father tightly, the only question I had was, why? My home was empty, it was just bricks now, with memories but not the person.
46 days have passed by and I am still there, I will always be there, Maa, waiting for you.
“A soul leaves the body, but never our memories”. We humans are so naive and small, we always want more and more from our lives, and sometimes in this rat race, we forget to live and acknowledge what we have. Let us start living and making memories because sometimes, in the blink of an eye, we lose everything and it all comes crashing down.
– Richa Vinita Arora
Life is not same everyday, some day it is bright & someday it is darkness. But it always comes with one guarantee it’s going to change.
Thank you for supporting in this journey of healing.