Losing somebody you adore is never an easy road. Trust me. Though life changes, you move on, but that tiny box of grief is always something you will carry till you die.
Hey, but that isn’t something to be depressed about. You can always alter that grief to something optimistic, something to look forward to, and something to cherish.
It’s been more than 10 odd years since I lost my beloved dad. Does it still hurt? Yes. Does it make your eyes tear up? Definitely yes. It is never a piece of cake to move on from the loss of your parent who has been your best friend, confidant and someone to look up to.
Lately, I have been going through a depressive state in my life. With my health being affected and mere helplessness, made me miss my friend the most. In those dimmest of times, I always wondered why life had been so unfair to me. Why I had to lose my dad when I was just in high school? Why I had to go through so much pain and uncontrollable heartache that made me feel lost? Why I don’t have him next to me when I need him the most? Am I being thoughtless here?
Even after 13 years, I am still not entirely healed. My counsellor, with whom I had only one session, asked me to be an adult and move on from mourning my lost parent. Also, she asked me to seek help from others rather than feel unhappy about not having a dad to confide in. Those words hurt me. Perhaps she intended to push me hard, to make me feel confident in myself, but somehow that didn’t benefit me.
After almost a month of my gloomy state, I have discovered that grief hasn’t made me powerless. It has always shown a light at the end of the tunnel when I feel lost.
And that light I would like to acknowledge as my dad.
Forever my guiding light, forever my strength, if you are my grief, I will forever keep you as part of Me.
