Do we really move on?
The cultural drive to coach us on how to conduct our lives is relentless in a society that moves at an ever-accelerating pace. When dealing with trauma, whether it is a heartbreaking breakup, the loss of a cherished loved one, or the sting of betrayal, we are frequently encouraged, “Give yourself time, time heals everything, and you will eventually move on.” But what happens if we don’t? What if we prefer to live with our sorrow, accepting it as a part of our path rather than trying to avoid it? These considerations push us to confront society’s rigorous norms for grieving and rehabilitation.
The common refrain of “time heals everything” is a soothing balm for many, offering the promise of respite from the anguish of traumatic events. However, it is crucial to recognize that healing is not a one-size-fits-all process. Society’s expectation that we must follow a predefined timeline for grieving often overlooks the individuality of our experiences.
Trauma has profound consequences in our lives. It leaves a permanent trace, a scar on our souls, from which we may never fully recover. It’s not about drowning in sadness, but about accepting the fact that suffering changes us. It takes a piece of us with it, and the concept of “moving on” may not be for everyone. For some, healing involves accepting their trauma into their identity and taking it with them as they navigate life’s turbulent waters.
The tremendous pressure to comply with society’s timeframe for grief causes us to mistrust ourselves and hide our pain. But why should we rush our recovery? Grief isn’t a straight line; it fluctuates and flows, and there’s no right or wrong way to go through it.
What if one individual takes years to mend while another finds consolation in months? Is our strength determined by our mourning timeline? Certainly not. Each person’s path through grief is unique. It is past time for society to acknowledge this truth.
Fear of societal judgment forces us to wear masks of strength, preventing us from receiving genuine healing. Let us challenge these standards and celebrate the diversity of human experiences. There is no shame in grieving for as long as necessary; healing is not a sprint.
Hope is found in our uniqueness. Our ability to endure and heal is defined by ourselves, not by others. Some traumas never heal completely, but they transform us into resilient, sensitive, and compassionate people.
It’s not about moving on; it’s about moving forward at our own pace, with our scars as a testament to strength. Society has its standards, but we aren’t bound by them. We’re free to embrace our unique journey through grief and find true healing in our individuality.
“Nothing stays forever, be it happiness or sadness. What is permanent is how we feel. People change, personalities change but deep down we all remember and carry on with it”- RVA
Very well written. Such powerful words. Kudos to you Richa ji. In a world that often expects quick recoveries, understanding that each person’s way of feeling sad is unique is really important. It’s like giving them a special kind of support. This kindness shows that we care about their pain and want to help them feel better. It takes courage and kindness to be patient. It truly helps someone remember their worth and helps them on their journey to feeling better.
Thank you, Juhi, for understanding the importance of acceptance and letting every Individual heal at their own pace. Respect and kindness go a long way!:)